In the past six months I've become a guy. Obviously, not in a physical sense, but in an emotional way. I think my transformation of having the mentality of a dude started with completely being fed up with the actions of the opposite sex. I realized that if men don't seem to care as much as women, then why are we putting forth so much time and energy and exhausting ourselves for them? My whole life it seemed that when guys did something stupid or didn't call or whatever, we as women would automatically make an excuse. Time and time again I've heard my friends and family say things like, "Oh, he's a guy, they just don't think," or "he's probably busy," and the best, " guys don't worry about that stuff, it's not a big deal." So I thought to myself, why should I care either?
This mentality may make me sound like a cynic or that I'm repulsed by men, but it's just the opposite. I'm envious of them. I mean how perfect that they can go about daily life not worrying if someone calls or texts or wants to hang out and not really getting upset if they say the wrong thing and the best benefit, not over analyzing and re-hashing every little moment of a relationship or an event like women do. Having this epiphany over the last few months is when I decided to "become a guy." I don't know how I turned off the switch or how to turn it back on, but for right now I don't worry if someone is going to call, I don't worry if I blow off a guy, I don't worry about what a guy I like is doing and I don't care what they think. I'm not sure if this is normal or if I'll snap out of it soon, but it's what is happening right now.
It's liberating not worrying all the time. Yes, I worry, about school and work and my family, but I don't worry about men. If they want to hang out, cool. If they want to text me, great. If they want to like me, awesome, but it doesn't affect my daily life. I did, however, have a solitary moment of being a girl recently while watching a chick flick. I hadn't sat down and watched 'The Holiday" in a while and it was on TV one night, so I decided to enjoy it. This movie is by no means sad, so why was I so lethargic while watching it? I let myself be a vulnerable girl for two hours of that film and then I wiped my tears, set down the rocky road and picked myself up, because this is not how guys act. I let myself revert back to being a girl for a short period, and here I was over analyzing my love life and caring-too much. This is the problem with girls, we care too much.
I think this whole change in life style has been beneficial for right now. I would like to turn it off eventually and maybe it'll even happen soon, but for right now I focus on school, I care for my family, I enjoy my time with friends, and men, are an after thought and not a priority at this point in time.
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